did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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