im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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