he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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