My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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