Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
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