i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
