You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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