filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
