she's into porn, im staying here tonight
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
