Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
