i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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