Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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