waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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