I hate your face
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
