singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
