We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
