wanna go halves on a baby?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
