I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
