Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
handjob tips. give me some.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
