I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
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