Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
