Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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