note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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