my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
