im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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