Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
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It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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