Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
