I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
