His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
