So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
