everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
