i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I can't turn off my feet"
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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