You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
