Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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