Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
