You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
