when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
