just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize