you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
