i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
