But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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