I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
