This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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