"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
