Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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