i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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