remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
