btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
