the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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