when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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