how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
