They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
