I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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