I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
