it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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