Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
