im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it glows. i had to have it.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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