We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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