I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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