I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
