Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
