Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
